My Favorite Fangs: The Story of the Von Trapp Family Vampires - Alan Goldsher
  This isn't the warm and fuzzy 1965 version of the Sound of Music but a bloody-awful parody of it that will make you laugh at just how bad it is!

Maria von Trapp is a bloodthirsty vampire. When Maria is kicked out of the Abbey run by Mother Zombie where she’s been residing for the past thousand or so years, she lands a job caretaking the family von Trapp, a rowdy clan in need of some serious discipline… or vampirification. After Maria turns the von Trapp children into children of the night and marries the von Trapp patriarch, the family seems destined for eternal (really, really eternal) bliss. But Hitler’s Undeath Squads are on the march, intent on ridding Europe of bloodsuckers. And Maria will have to do everything in her power—supernatural or otherwise —to save her vampire brood.

Not everyone likes this book based on some of the reviews; "Goldsher's humor is juvenile and vulgar." "This book has the potential to be recycled as toilet paper." "This one was one of the worst books I have ever read." "Completely... stupid." "It ended up amounting to a badly-written colossal waste of time." "This book sucked!" "This book would only be acceptable at a book burning!" and they are all right but that is what makes this book one of My Favorite Things (Fangs)!

Cinnamon said, "We've tried to be friends for realsies, but she's proven to be, well, a problem."
Brandi said, "A big problem,"
Cinnamon said, "You see, Vampire Sister Maria is a bit of a flibbertijibbet."
Mother Zombie said, "What in the Devil's name is a flibbertijibbet?"
Brandi explained, "A whore."
"Ah," Mother Zombie said, "Flibbertijibbet. Whore. Makes sense to me. I'm not sure how Hammerstein would feel about it, but you know, fick him."

"I'll answer that with a question, Vampiress: What are your favorite things?"
"That's easy: Blood drops on roses and bloody-nosed kittens, and ..."

Another raspberry, "Zzzzzzzz! Besides, if the evolution of art means taking a perfectly boring movie musical and turning it into an even more boring book, I'd rather die for good."

This book is for mature audiences that have a sense of humor and don't mind sex, swearing, gore and vomit.